{"id":45664,"date":"2024-04-12T12:30:37","date_gmt":"2024-04-12T16:30:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/socialmediaexplorer.com\/?p=45664"},"modified":"2024-04-15T12:45:28","modified_gmt":"2024-04-15T16:45:28","slug":"first-date-red-flags-dr-venus-nicolino","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/socialmediaexplorer.com\/content-sections\/news-and-noise\/feature\/first-date-red-flags-dr-venus-nicolino\/","title":{"rendered":"Dr. Venus Nicolino Talks First Dates, Sex, and Red Flags"},"content":{"rendered":"

Times change, societies evolve, and last year\u2019s hot garbage is this year\u2019s haute couture. But one aspect of life remains persistently unchanged: First dates are tricky territory, a minefield of misread conversational cues, painfully awkward pauses, and sudden \u201cnot if you were the last person on Earth\u201d insights. Dr. Venus Nicolino believes, however, that you can increase the chances of first-date success with the right attitude and a good plan.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She\u2019s got plenty of advice for how to approach an event that most people, for better or worse, experience at least once in their lives. She also has a long history of reaching people in a variety of ways. She\u2019s written bestsellers <\/span>(<\/span><\/i>Bad Advice: How to Survive and Thrive in an Age of Bulls–t<\/span><\/i><\/a>), hosted podcasts (\u201c<\/span>The Tea With Dr. V<\/span><\/a>\u201d), and posted a fascinating collection of videos on her <\/span>TikTok<\/span><\/a> and <\/span>Instagram<\/span><\/a> channels. She\u2019s also got the educational receipts: a master\u2019s in counseling psychology and a master\u2019s and Ph.D. in clinical psychology.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

In short, Nicolino knows what she\u2019s talking about. And when she talks about first dates, she talks about being direct and stating your needs, both physical and emotional. Why waste time?<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThere is never a wrong time to bring up what you want and what you need. So, if on the first date, if you want a family and you want to have children, that\u2019s something that you should bring up,\u201d Dr. Venus Nicolino said in a <\/span>video for the <\/span>New York Post<\/span><\/i>\u2019s \u201cPage Six<\/span><\/a>.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cIf this is something that the other person doesn\u2019t want, or they think it\u2019s inappropriate to bring up on a first date, then guess what? You\u2019re not meant to be. Because if that person is looking to have kids and that person wants a family as well, then they are not going to be afraid of that conversation.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Dr. Venus Nicolino Talks About Sex on the First Date<\/h2>\n

 <\/p>\n

Nicolino \u2014 affectionately known as Dr. V \u2014 also addresses one of the biggest topics around first dates: Is it OK to have sex during that initial outing? Or should you wait? Many still follow the \u201cthird date rule\u201d when it comes to having sex, a decades-old idea popularized by <\/span>Sex and the City<\/span><\/i>, <\/span>according<\/span><\/a> to eHarmony, which should know.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Waiting until the third date can \u201cheighten the tension\u201d and \u201cmake sex better when it does happen,\u201d according to eHarmony, as well as allow you the time to \u201cform a more complete picture of the person you\u2019re with.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Dr. Venus Nicolino begs to differ. She says, in her typically irreverent way, that these days, \u201cThe idea that anyone is waiting three dates to have sex is bulls–t. We all just need to stop perpetuating these dumb dumb rules that don\u2019t make any sense. If you feel a connection with someone on the first date and it feels right, and you\u2019re both in the moment \u2014 allow yourself to have that moment. With protection, of course\u201d.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She added that women who wait until the third date to have sex and ignore what they want may find themselves running contrary to human nature. \u201cI think for so many women, we believe that our sexuality can be bargained with,\u201d Dr. V said. \u201cYou own your sexuality. It is yours. You can do with it what you want to do with it.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Women Should Ditch \u201cSocietal Shame\u201d<\/h2>\n

 <\/p>\n

Nicolino expanded on the topic of female sexuality in a \u201cThe Tea With Dr. V\u201d podcast <\/span>interview with Brooke Burke<\/span><\/a>, a previous winner and host of <\/span>Dancing With the Stars<\/span><\/i>. The pair spoke about how, in heterosexual relationships, a woman\u2019s pleasure is often subservient to a man\u2019s.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Dr. V said this has led to a \u201cpleasure gap\u201d between young men and young women. She cited studies that show a majority of women never achieve orgasm during intercourse. She added that many men think women are only supposed to orgasm during foreplay, something of an appetizer to the main course. Moreover, men (and women) are conditioned to believe that women orgasm the way men do; through penetration. In reality only 4% of women orgasm through penetration alone\u201d.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cThere are studies that show that there are more women faking orgasms than actually having them \u2026 We\u2019ve grown up with the idea for centuries that it\u2019s really about his pleasure, so intercourse then becomes about his pleasure. As a matter of fact, on a first date the likelihood of a female orgasm is about 13% versus 77% for males.\u201d Nicolino said.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The good news? Dr. Venus Nicolino says that tends to change with age. \u201cI don\u2019t know about you but I am experiencing an amazing amount of pleasure,\u201d she told Burke. She said with age, \u201cWe\u2019re comfortable in our bodies. We know where everything is. We\u2019re not bogged down by societal shame which is put on our genitals, which is put on our bodies.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Bad Signs and Good Signs on a First Date<\/h2>\n

 <\/p>\n

While Nicolino advocates an open mind when it comes to sharing your needs and wants on a first date, she also recommends taking note and responding appropriately to red flags when people fly them. She warned that some types of women tend to \u201ccollect red flags\u201d rather than get away from them.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

In the \u201cPage Six\u201d video, she got directly to the point. \u201cThe signs to spot a sociopath, or I will even say a narcissist, is that they lack compassion and empathy. And you will feel that right away. Do not ignore that red flag.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She said women should take the time to ensure they have a better chance of attracting good dating candidates, especially when using online profiles. Here, Dr. Venus Nicolino also advocates a direct approach, as well as avoiding certain common mistakes.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

In a <\/span>video<\/span><\/a> on her popular TikTok channel, Dr. V offers three things to avoid on a dating profile<\/a>. \u201cNo. 1, using only group photos. Don\u2019t make them guess which face belongs to you. Two, don\u2019t write a list of demands,\u201d she said. \u201cAnd three, cliches. Avoid them. And if you’re not sure what that is, here are examples: \u2018I like having fun\u2019 and \u2018Please be able to hold a conversation.\u2019 Don\u2019t write that.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

How can you tell things are going well after the first date and you should continue seeing someone? Nicolino said that you might find clues in the bedroom. For example, she advised taking notice if your partner reveals a \u201ckink\u201d they like to do in bed that is news to you.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI just want to let you know that that is an area of opportunity. This person just gave you a piece of information. I think to explore these valuable pieces of information, particularly in the bedroom, is so incredibly important,\u201d said Dr. Venus Nicolino.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cBecause your sexual relationship is your relationship, nonverbal. So, the idea that your partner would feel even comfortable to bring up a kink of theirs \u2014 that is incredible trust. So, while it might be surprising, while it might be shocking, it\u2019s actually a sign that your relationship might be on the right track.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Times change, societies evolve, and last year\u2019s hot garbage is this year\u2019s haute couture. But…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":266,"featured_media":45665,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7586],"tags":[9463,10738,5277],"class_list":["post-45664","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-feature","tag-california","tag-dr-venus-nicolino","tag-los-angeles"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nDr. Venus Nicolino Talks First Dates, Sex, and Red Flags - Social Media Explorer<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Dr. Venus Nicolino offers advice on surviving first dates and says sex is fine if that\u2019s what you really want \u2014 but only if no red flags are waving.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" 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